They do it different over here......

Harley Riders
These are a strange species over here – all look to be having a middle age crisis and prove their crisis-ness by not wearing helmets or other protective gear. Even most of the women (who I thought would not have had to prove how tough they are) don’t wear helmets.

The only leather worn is cowboy-chap-type things with their jeans-clad bums hanging out and little leather caps with sparkly bits. Tassels on bike and body are also big. In Australia, they would be laughed at and asked where the Mardi Gras was.

In 20 years, Harley’s market will shrink dramatically as this lot get too old/injured, so they will need to have a plan B up their sleeve.

Guns-n-Attitude
Guns are everywhere and this is considered absolutely normal. In trucks (utes), sports shops, TV and radio advertising and even National Parks (as long as they are unloaded – I bet that really rankles the locals). The craziest example of this guns/military/patriotism thing was an old attack helicopter, complete with guns and rockets, mounted 10 feet off the ground in a diving position in the yard of an elementary (primary) school!

However, this was in a town where we saw the following slogans:
- Its not attitude – we really are that good
- Land of the Free because of the Brave
- These colours don’t run (under a flag diagram on a T-Shirt)

Uniform/Gun/Attitude Fetish
It seems that any job that could possibly need (and even some that don’t need it) a military-type uniform and a gun definitely has one. This even extended to a cute young female National Park ranger doing meet-and-greet duty at the entrance station at Glacier – complete with pistol on hip. I suppose you never can tell what those grey nomads are up to.

There is an obsession with uniforms/guns/attitude and it seems that any job worth doing has all three.

Patriotism
‘Patriotism’ is way over the top – even worse than when Ian was here in the early 1990’s, no doubt exacerbated by 9/11. It has developed into an ‘us versus them’ thing and it seems that if you are not a way-right-wing born-again Christian then you must be subversive.

Degree of Religion-osity
Americans visiting Australia must think we're a bunch of heathens – and they would be right!! Religion is much more prominent here with lots of well attended churches, gospel radio stations, car stickers, T-Shirt slogans etc. It is particularly noticeable that American politicians appear very devout. You probably couldn’t get elected over here if you were an atheist.

Respect for the Military
There is more overt respect for the military here than in Australia, both for serving and also retired people. Lots of caravans we see in the parks will have stickers saying ‘US Marine/Navy etc Retired’ or the dates they served in whatever division.

Individual/National Disconnect
At least 99% of the Americans you meet on an individual basis will be exceedingly nice (though perhaps a bit loud). We have asked lots of dumb questions etc, and have always been received very pleasantly.

We are still trying to work out why there is this huge disconnect between very-nice-individuals and the less-than-nice ‘we have the God-given right to dominate the world’ government.

Fitness and Food
There is a pervasive availability of cheap take-away and frozen fast foods - more than Canada, and much more than Australia. As you can imagine there are a lot of overweight people, but perversely, also a very strong fitness culture, particularly in some towns like Boulder. It would seem there are less people in the middle ground of being neither fat nor fit then in Canada or Australia.

Urban Sprawl
Colorado (in particular) doesn’t seem to have any town/state planning. The ‘greater Denver region’ on the eastern side of the Rocky Mountains stretches
from Fort Collings to Colorado Springs – about 200 km of sprawling suburbs, strip malls and acreage lots. Hopefully Australia can avoid the worst of this.

The USA Economy
In the weeks leading up to the recent stock market crash, we had decided that the American economy is at the top of a slippery slope. Additionally, once they don’t have that big economic stick to hold over the head of others, fewer nations will feel the need to join in with at least the craziest of US ideas. The world is in for some big changes in the next 10 – 20 years.

Grotesquely Excessive, But I Want One
We saw a really nice motorhome in Salt Lake City – it was a bit flasher and more neatly finished than anything else we had seen, so I tracked down its website. Check it out on: www.newellcoach.com. 625 HP, 12 speed auto, 4 push-outs, 4 airconditioners, polished granite floor tiles, ensuite etc

Utah and Colarado

From the Teton’s we basically headed straight south to Salt Lake City, Utah, with a small detour into Idaho. There didn’t seem to be much in Idaho, but as their car numberplates’ catchcry is ‘Famous Potatoes’ we didn’t expect anything else.

The first day in Salt Lake City was spent having a quick squiz around Temple Square imbibing Mormon culture. The highlight for Ian was the disproportionate number of gorgeous, tall, slim blue-eyed blondes. The city was also clean, tidy and everybody was very pleasant – all the better for heathen-conversion I suppose. After lunch Jen accessed the Family Research Centre while (more importantly) Ian succeeded in getting a new, very comfortable lightweight (1.6 vs 3.5 kg) overnight pack.

After a second night in Salt Lake it was east to Vernal, but not before a look at some of the 14(!!) ski resorts in Utah – their numberplate slogan is ‘Worlds Greatest Snow’. Hmmm, shall I go spend my holiday money in Utah or Idaho???

Vernal is on the Uintah Basin and is booming with oil and gas activity – a mini Alberta. We got a great, shady campsite at a state park on the outskirts of town that once again, had a chilly-but-nice lake instead of a shower block. Jen has now had 4 showers (but lots of swims) in 20 days and is not happy. The shade was great as temps had risen to mid 30’s although the nights were still pleasant. The next three days were day trips to:
Dinosaur National Park which had a good museum, but not as good as Royal Tyrrell at Drumheller, Alberta. Unfortunately the wonderful glass shed built above the working pit has been closed as it was built on swelling clays and is now about to collapse;
Flaming Gorge – a nice drive, with a crystal clear lake set among red gorges; and,
Bonanza - known as the only town in the world where everybody knows what Gilsonite is.

With triple digits forecast for southern Utah, it was east to the cooler, higher Colorado Rockies for a few days hiking.

Rocky Mountain National Park is one of the signature parks of the USA – and like Glacier, Yellowstone and the Tetons, is also terribly overcrowded in peak summer season. Once again, there is a road straight up and over the top, with a highest point of 12100 ft/3700 m. They finished this road in 1932 (!) and then sent the work crew straight to Glacier to do it all over again.

We camped in the foothills west of Boulder at Olive Ridge, a nice state park at about 8000 ft. Although temps in Denver were at near records (35C), it never got over 28C in the van. The craziest thing was that packets of chips we had bought in the 4000 ft ‘lowlands’ puffed up like pillows! Whoever would have thought.

We then ‘warmed up’ with a 15 km day hike to Chasm Lake directly below Diamond Face at Longs Peak. This is a famous rock-climbing place, and a number of crazies were hanging off the face while we were at the lake. Only a nice walk, but what intrigued us is that we found you can also “hike” to the top of Longs Peak. You should be able to pick about 7 climbers on this picci!

So,,, the next day we headed off at 3.30 AM (yes, that is correct) as you need to get up and down before the typical lightning-filled afternoon thunderstorm. To give an idea of how popular this area is, the trailhead carpark is always full by 5.30 AM in summer!!! The hike was a total of 26 km with a 4800 ft/1482m ascension – the trailhead is at 9400 ft and the peak is 14200 ft/4345 m (more than twice as high as Kosciosko and half the height of Everest). It was a straightforward hike to the Keyhole, then across the Ledges (narrow but no worse than what we have done previously), up the 1000 ft Trough (straight up a 35 degree avalanche chute), across the Narrows (which was um, narrow with a sheer drop 3000 ft to the bottom – not for the faint hearted) and then up the Homestretch (a 40 degree solid rock slope). Our time up was 6 1/4 hrs and a total of 12 ½ hrs. Strangely enough, the difficult part took slightly longer to go down than up – very unusual for downhill-demon Jen!!

This was easily the most challenging hike we have completed as it is more of a climb/rock scramble in places. Jen says she was very brave and noted that her mother was going to have a ‘dinger’ when she sees the photos. The views were nice, but not up to Canadian Rockies standards.

It would also appear that acclimatisation really works – at 12000 ft at Mt. Kinabalu, Borneo a few years ago, both of us really struggled, yet after lots of living/hiking above 8000 ft, we more-or-less cruised up to 14000 ft.

It was then south and west to Mesa Verde, but not before a bizarre event. While driving (with trailer) at a cruisy 60 km/h-tourist speed down the steep and twisty canyon road to Boulder, we got overtaken – by a cyclist!! He caught up over a very windy bit, had a bit of breather in the draft of the van, then flashed on by. Obviously Lance Armstrongs lovechild.

Waterton NP (Canada) to Grand Teton NP (USA)

Despite knowing there is a lifetime of hiking left in the Banff/Jasper region it was time to head off to Waterton NP to do two walks we hadn’t had time for the previous summer.

The first was up to Bertha Lake, a short and easy 6 km. The trail left town and headed up a small valley to a cute lake. Jenny reckoned the worst part was the bear warnings and meeting another hiker who said he had seen one just where we were about to go. Unfortunately, it was no longer there.

The second was doing an up and back on the last part of the Tamarack trail. The Tamarack Trail is a one-way, 4 day, 70 km walk requiring a car shuttle, so we just did the last day from the trailhead up to Lineham Ridge and back. It is a strenuous 20 km return as the up-bit is 1050 m, Jenny’s biggest up day yet.

It was then a sad farewell to Canada and an even sadder arrival in the USA. The increase in needless bureaucracy, egotism and arrogance we encountered in the adjoining NP on the other side of the border was amazing. To make matters worse there are 10 times as many people (many displaying the above-mentioned traits) on the southern side of the border. It appears that many thousands get as far north as Glacier NP, but then choose not to cross the border to its sister park, Waterton. Crossing even a land border appears way too radical for most of the very conservative folk down here (Pauline Hanson eat your heart out).

So, we had a bit of a drive around Glacier before heading south to Yellowstone NP, the first NP in the world. We then drove around again (which is about all there is to do) and checked out the geysers and hot springs. But like gorges in central Australia, you soon get geysered-out. The highlight was the upper and lower falls of what they call the Yellowstone Grand Canyon and a grizzly jam. The place is absolutely packed in summer and once a grizzly is spotted an instant traffic jam is created. The grizzly jam we saw necessitated rangers in cars with flashing lights and an ambulance crew (dressed in camouflage, which is never out of fashion) to sort out. They say there are more than 1000 miles of hiking trails in Yellowstone, but compared to the Rockies, they all looked flat and boring, so we didn’t partake.

In great “I’m all right, bugger you Jack” style, people pull up in the middle of the road for all sorts of reasons while everybody behind waits patiently and politely. The only rude, impatient person beeping the horn and yelling abuse at needless and thoughtless road blockages so far has been me! Everybody else is way too lamb-like.

Just to the south is Grand Teton NP, which is French for big tits. The area was originally explored by some French dudes who – obviously - had been out bush way too long. It is a small (15 x 5 km), young (5-9 million years old), spectacular mountain range of granite/gneiss with a limestone/sandstone capping. We did the 32 km Paintbrush Divide/Cascade Canyon trail as a day walk and then the Death Canyon/Shelf, Alaska Basin/Hurricane Pass, Divide Peak loop. The second walk was 52 km over three days and was exceptional – almost up to Canadian Rockies standards. Not only was there great scenery, but Jen almost became good friends with a moose and we also had our first encounter with a bear while on the trail.

By the time we spotted the small, black bear, we had been warned, and had formed a group of 7 with a total of 3 cans of mace. All the bear wanted to do was keep eating flowers and whatever he was finding under rocks, so we spent a very pleasant few minutes watching him rambling around.

Earlier in the day, Jen (aka the moose whisperer) came around a sharp uphill blind corner at the same time that a female moose came down the same trail. By the time they both stopped in surprise, the mooses nose was about 2 m from Jens (bulging) eyes. After a few moments confusion, Jen went directly uphill off trail to give it right of way and it went directly downhill into a creek. Ian is still laughing about the various squawks emitted and the time it took for Jen to work out that perhaps giving the moose right of way wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

In summary, hiking in the Tetons is great, and undertaking multi-day walks also gives you a chance of getting away from the maddening crowds.